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Spouse
#1: Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt.
Spouse #2: That's not surprising, dear, it was just ground
this morning.
What do you call
a cow who's just given birth? De-calf-inated!
"I want you
to drink a cup of hot water every morning," prescribed
the doctor. "You gotta be kidding, doc," I've been
doing that for years, but my wife calls it coffee".
met someone in
the elevator who was drinking coffee and complaining about
how coffee made him nervous. I said why don't you quit
drinking coffee. He said, "because if I didn't have the
shakes I wouldn't get any exercise at all."
This guy walks
into a coffee shop and asks the waitress: "How much is
the coffee?" "Coffee is three dollars the waitress
said". "How much is a refill?" the man asked.
"Free"!!!!! said the waitress. "Then I'll
take a refill"!!!!!.
While
traveling through Antigo, Wis. our family stopped in a
local restaurant for a brief respite while driving. My
father ordered 2 cups of coffee for he and my mother. My
mother after tasting the coffee looked at my father and
they each grimaced at each other. Looking around, my
father noticed a sign above the back corner which said,
"Don't knock our coffee, you may be old and weak
yourself sometime."
I have heard
that if your wife/husband makes bad coffee, that is
grounds for divorce.
People ask me
if I wake up grumpy in the morning....... I reply----No, I
just bring her some coffee !!!
A man went to
his psychiatrist and said, "Every time I drink my
coffee, I get a stabbing pain in my right eye," the
psychiatrist said, "well, have you tried taking the
spoon out?"
I'm sure all
coffee beans are juvenile. They're always getting
grounded!
Six Cups of
Coffee
Freddie was eighteen years old, friendly, and eager to do
things right. Unfortunately, he wasn't especially bright.
He had just started his first job, as a delivery boy and
general go-fer at a furniture warehouse. His first task
was to go out for coffee.
He walked into a nearby coffee shop carrying a large
thermos. When the counterman finally noticed him, he held
up the thermos.
"Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?"
he said. The counterman looked at the thermos, hesitated
for a few seconds, then finally said, "Yeah. It looks
like about six cups to me."
"Good," Freddie said. "Give me two regular,
two black, and two decaf."
If
you have any good coffee jokes you want to submit please
e-mail them to info@euphoriasmoothies.com
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